Tag Archives: Germany

The good, the bad, and the fugly

This is a list best presented without any further comment:

WORLD’S WORST LOVERS:

1. Germany (too smelly)

2. England (too lazy)

3. Sweden (too quick)

4. Holland (too dominating)

5. America (too rough)

6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)

7. Wales (too selfish)

8. Scotland (too loud)

9. Turkey (too sweaty)

10. Russia (too hairy)

WORLD’S BEST LOVERS

1. Spain

2. Brazil

3. Italy

4. France

5. Ireland

6. South Africa

7. Australia

8. New Zealand

9. Denmark

10. Canada

And before you ask. It’s from a survey conducted by OnePoll.com and reported in the Telegraph.

Eye-ful in the sky

At the risk of offending my German reader again

A group of Italian tourists got rather more than they bargained for when they decided to take a ride on the giant ferris wheel at the Munich Oktoberfest. Instead of getting a bird’s eye view of the world famous beer festival they were treated to rather more shocking sight.

Two men and a woman joined them in the gondola, and promptly started to film an amateur porn movie. Unable to get off the ride, the tourists had to avert their gaze as the woman brandished a vibrator for the camera.

The actress, a political scientist and a student were arrested and charged with public indecency. “They said they weren’t doing it for commercial reasons,” the police said. “They wanted to see how visitors would react.”

The Oktoberfest continues until October 3 and is expected to attract six million people, who will drink in the region of 5.5 million litres of beer. And just to show that beer is king in Germany…

Fans of Hamburg have won 10,000 litres of beer from a brewery, who put up the prize for the first team to beat Bayern Munich after they won the first six games of the season in the Bundesliga. “We wanted to create a bit of excitement,” the brewery said. “We’ve nothing against Bayern but there must be some tension.”

Everything you ever heard about Germans and deckchairs is true

A German pensioner was so attached to his deckchair that he attacked a woman who moved his towel to another lounger at the pool in Bad Endbach.

When the 76-year-old man returned to his favourite spot he was furious to discover that a woman had moved his towel so she could sit next to her mother. “The other chair was just the same, but he didn’t want to use it,” a policeman said.

The pensioner swore at the shocked woman and when she still didn’t move he tipped the chair over, throwing her to the ground. “She couldn’t believe he went so far over such a trifle,” the police said.

Bad hair day

A German woman destroyed her family home as she tried to kill spiders in the garage with a can of hairspray and a cigarette lighter.

Police in Zuelpich said that when the aerosol failed to kill the spiders the woman tried to burn them with the lighter. But this set the area she had just sprayed on fire and the blaze spread to a hedge. “She tried to put the fire out with a garden hose, but couldn’t,” the police said.

“Instead, her semi-detached house next to the hedge caught fire. It’s now uninhabitable. The family have had to look for somewhere else to stay. The spiders are gone though; that problem was solved.”